Emotional Independence – Part II

On the first part I was talking about our emotional independence from the society. What about the emotional independence in a relationship.

When two people get attracted to each other, it can be something that is in the other person that you may be agreeing upon or something that you have been looking for and have not found it in yourself or elsewhere. What you have found can be physical or intellectual or sometime even materialistic.

In our subconscious we all know that physical and material is not what we are looking for. In most cases, it is our superficial senses that make us look for them first and make us commit to a relationship based on them.

When you connect with someone intellectually, chances are high that the emotion that comes out of you is genuine, natural or maybe we can call “your native“emotion. In connection primarily based on physical or material attractions the chances are high to produce an emotion that is totally acquired and unnatural, based on what you have seen around and felt left without.

Human beings are so advanced that we can never find any identical intellects. The basic of our evolution is stimulation. If we don’t get enough stimulation we saturate and go dull.

In a relationship, two may connect in many things but not all things. For example, medical Doctor in relationship with a person whose profession is art may still connect in a lot of things and feel the emotional high. The more emotional highs you have the more stimulated and evolving you are going to be. There can be certain things in which one may not understand the other. In those cases both must be open enough and shed the insecurities and let the other person to seek the emotional high elsewhere.

We get too attached to everything that we have including our relationship and that only stops us to grow as collective creatures. This again has to be blamed on our bonding with culture and society that is as old as time. Imagine, if a painter marries a passionate machine operator in a chemical plant who has got no idea of what painting is. They may have something to talk about to get their emotional connection but what about a lot of inspirations that the painter is getting while painting. Where or with whom will he/she share about it if the partner is going to feel insecure when the painter has a passionate and emotional discussion in private with someone else?

The maturity that we need is to free our partners from our emotional leach and let them get an emotional independence to go and have a passionate, intellectual connection with whomever they are getting that emotional high and stimulation.

The society has only given us the feeling of Guilt when we feel free.
 
-- Satish