On the first part I was talking about our emotional independence from the society. What about the emotional independence in a relationship.
When two people get attracted to each other, it can be something that is in the other person that you may be agreeing upon or something that you have been looking for and have not found it in yourself or elsewhere. What you have found can be physical or intellectual or sometime even materialistic.
In our subconscious we all know that physical and material is not what we are looking for. In most cases, it is our superficial senses that make us look for them first and make us commit to a relationship based on them.
When you connect with someone intellectually, chances are high that the emotion that comes out of you is genuine, natural or maybe we can call “your native“emotion. In connection primarily based on physical or material attractions the chances are high to produce an emotion that is totally acquired and unnatural, based on what you have seen around and felt left without.
Human beings are so advanced that we can never find any identical intellects. The basic of our evolution is stimulation. If we don’t get enough stimulation we saturate and go dull.
In a relationship, two may connect in many things but not all things. For example, medical Doctor in relationship with a person whose profession is art may still connect in a lot of things and feel the emotional high. The more emotional highs you have the more stimulated and evolving you are going to be. There can be certain things in which one may not understand the other. In those cases both must be open enough and shed the insecurities and let the other person to seek the emotional high elsewhere.
We get too attached to everything that we have including our relationship and that only stops us to grow as collective creatures. This again has to be blamed on our bonding with culture and society that is as old as time. Imagine, if a painter marries a passionate machine operator in a chemical plant who has got no idea of what painting is. They may have something to talk about to get their emotional connection but what about a lot of inspirations that the painter is getting while painting. Where or with whom will he/she share about it if the partner is going to feel insecure when the painter has a passionate and emotional discussion in private with someone else?
The maturity that we need is to free our partners from our emotional leach and let them get an emotional independence to go and have a passionate, intellectual connection with whomever they are getting that emotional high and stimulation.
The society has only given us the feeling of Guilt when we feel free.
-- Satish
Friday, June 17, 2011
Emotional Independence – Part I
Writing this when my thoughts are flowing free. Felt like a small leaf floating on the surface of an enormous lake of emotions. In fact, this is the feeling that confronts me every now and then.
Like a piece of wood we are pulled by the sheer force of the culture or Society River that our ancestors have started in some hill side or a cave. All our actions are purely orchestrated reactions based on what our surroundings have thought us. Lot of great philosophers describe our plight as a puppet tied to one end of a string whose other end is with an unknown force commonly called as god.
My belief is that we all have just made puppets out of ourselves. We have deliberately tied ourselves to many strings not one. We didn’t stop there. We have given the other end of that string to known man made forces called, social responsibilities and compulsions.
Think about this. Born free we are. Then we learn a lot of things from our surroundings and slowly we start believing that this is the way to go as almost all goats are going that way. In all the troubles that we encounter till we walk this earth, we only console ourselves saying that what we are going through is only common. Never would we think why we should go through this. Why should anyone go through this?
Examples: Religion, Education, Profession, Ethics, Morals, Survival, Marriage ........the list is long.
Why can’t we just be honest to ourselves and do what our conscience is telling us? We do everything as expected by others and be frustrated. If you are trying to do everything to please others then we must be pleased seeing others pleased. If that is not the case, then we must start living in the way that will please us and not care about others. Easier said than done. I know. Though I talk a lot about being free, I am still an obedient societal creature.
Since our birth we have been taught to be strictly boundary oriented and not to cross that and do whatever you want within that boundary as long as you satisfy these two million rules. May be that is why we started imagining our almighty as boundless which will make him/her so admirable and desirable.
May be, someone reading all my articles may call me an antisocial! I can’t disagree with them.
--Satish
Like a piece of wood we are pulled by the sheer force of the culture or Society River that our ancestors have started in some hill side or a cave. All our actions are purely orchestrated reactions based on what our surroundings have thought us. Lot of great philosophers describe our plight as a puppet tied to one end of a string whose other end is with an unknown force commonly called as god.
My belief is that we all have just made puppets out of ourselves. We have deliberately tied ourselves to many strings not one. We didn’t stop there. We have given the other end of that string to known man made forces called, social responsibilities and compulsions.
Think about this. Born free we are. Then we learn a lot of things from our surroundings and slowly we start believing that this is the way to go as almost all goats are going that way. In all the troubles that we encounter till we walk this earth, we only console ourselves saying that what we are going through is only common. Never would we think why we should go through this. Why should anyone go through this?
Examples: Religion, Education, Profession, Ethics, Morals, Survival, Marriage ........the list is long.
Why can’t we just be honest to ourselves and do what our conscience is telling us? We do everything as expected by others and be frustrated. If you are trying to do everything to please others then we must be pleased seeing others pleased. If that is not the case, then we must start living in the way that will please us and not care about others. Easier said than done. I know. Though I talk a lot about being free, I am still an obedient societal creature.
Since our birth we have been taught to be strictly boundary oriented and not to cross that and do whatever you want within that boundary as long as you satisfy these two million rules. May be that is why we started imagining our almighty as boundless which will make him/her so admirable and desirable.
May be, someone reading all my articles may call me an antisocial! I can’t disagree with them.
--Satish
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